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Fortune Cookies

September 28, 2012

They are the highlight to any meal at any restaurant serving Asian cuisine: the fortune cookie.  I will be the first to admit that I love them.  So much that I have bought plenty of boxes at the grocery to enjoy without Asian cuisine.  No shame.  I am also fine admitting that I bought four boxes just to have enough fortunes on hand for this entry.  No guilt, sorry I’m not sorry.  All in the name of research, right?

The cookies are tasty enough, of course.  But the little bits of paper inside make them that much better.  Sometimes they are inspirational.  At times they are cryptic while others are fairly straight-up and to the point.  Personally, my favorites are the ones that can be twisted a million different ways.  Be that in a positive light, negatively, or pervertedly (don’t act like you’ve never played the in bed fortune cookie game).

I take fortune cookies to the next level, though.  They are similar to horoscopes in that they always seem to apply at all time wether or not it is obvious.  For instance, every single fortune I have displayed in this entry applies to my life at this exact point in one way or another, but my favorites of the bunch are featured in the second picture.

Since I’m not a very religious person, I sometimes tell people that fortune cookies (and Lady GaGa) are my religion.  Of course plenty of people find this offensive, but some select few actually get it.

My fortunes are up to interpretation much like scriptures.  Of course they weren’t necessarily written by someone that is really too important, but hey, I could argue that with scriptures… something I will keep from going into.

Bide your time, for success is near.

When I opened a cookie to find that, my spirits were immediately lifted.  Surprising that such a small piece of paper has the power to make you feel better.  They have the ability to brighten your outlook, make you smile, and a lot of time even laugh.

Out of the four boxes of fortune cookies I tore into as part of my research, I came across five different fortunes that were all grammatically incorrect.  I thoroughly enjoyed them for a little while but I didn’t save them nor do I recall what they said.  I’m just left wondering if it was an honest mistake or if they’re planted to make them entertaining.

Either way, fortune cookies are my go-to for cryptic advice and a tasty little treat (bonus points if you smother them in Nutella).  I suggest going to the grocery and buying a box for yourself and just sit back and take in all the little nuggets of wisdom…

A thrilling time is in store for you.


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